CNY 2011 was better than expected.

I love my family(:

I want to grow old with my future husband, I really do.

We managed to find a few photos taken during our younger days!!

I swear I look like a boy:/

This year isnt the same without daddy,

It wouldnt be anymore...

I miss you so badly:/

It's been so long since I last dreamt of you...

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Celebrated the Jan babies birthday last week!!(:

Hope you all enjoyed the celebration.

Guitar Hero was awesome too(:(:(:

I had so so much fun.

Friends who wouldnt mind your retardedness are hard to find.

I'm glad to be part of Delta, I really am (Y)

Thanks for coming(:

I've tried so hard to get you out of my head.

But the harder I try, the more I think of you...

Was it because I didnt love you enough, or was there too much love?

I dont know what to feel about you anymore.

I'm starting to not know what I want either.

Perhaps you're wrong, I'm not that perfect afterall.

I guess happy endings only exist in fairytales...

You've no idea how much those words hurt...

And you dont know how much you actually mean to me...

You've managed to end my gloomy week with a really big smile(:

It's been so long since I've felt this happy, and I mean it.

I knew I was never wrong about you. ♥

Insecurities; that's what my life is made up of right now.
Every single day, I'd picture something unfortunate happening, people leaving me.
News reports of people losing their lives in accidents, it leaves me with an heartache.
There are way too many deaths related to people around me.
I'm afraid, I really am.

Ever since Daddy left, my life is no longer complete.
That missing piece in my life which was once showered with love and concern, is now filled with fear.
I thought I've moved on, I thought I'll be able to do Daddy proud, but I'm wrong.
Unknowingly, I've been telling myself that Daddy will be back, he's just overseas.
And when I eventually wake up from that moment of self-denial, the harsh reality hits me really hard.

Many times, I've been on the verge of tears.
But what's the point of friends being there to provide you with that temporary moment of comfort to make you feel a whole lot better, when in fact, you're not fine deep down.
And you cant tell them that you're not fine, cause it'd make them feel useless as your friend. Get what I mean?
I dont want my friends to feel that way, neither do I want their lives to be affected because of me.
For this, I'd rather cry to sleep.

I cant express the fear that's in me.
But I'm really hoping that someone would be able to understand how I feel.
Sometimes I wish I were dead. Then, I wouldnt need to live in fear anymore.

I'd want my life to end before anyone else around me.
I really dont have the courage to have people close to me leaving me...

Nothing's going well; I need to be around people who make me feel happy - Delta(:

Somehow I feel that it's been really long since we last met.

I really really miss all of you a lot.

I miss how everything is so real and genuine around all of you.

(Had enough of people pretending to be concerned in school:/)

Cant wait to meet you all next week, really really looking forward...(Y)

Yeeshan: Still cant reply my text?:/ Anyway, thanks for that really nice blog post!! (I look damn sian in that photo though... Haha.)