Watched Rapunzel with some truggers today.
It was pretty good(:
I cried so badly nearing the end:/ (But i wasnt the only one in the whole cinema!)
Ate so much today. I'm such a pig.
I think my face got rounder:/ FAT.

You're different from the rest, right?

I'll write it down, whatever i want to say to you.

I really want you to know, but yet I dont.

"Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you.
And I wish on a star, that somewhere you are. Thinking of me too."
-Selena

I'm sorry, but imy...

i'm back home.
i dont like this feeling, like how nothing had happened at all.
you did so much to make everyone go through this whole shit, and overnight, just because you dont like how things are and you're regretting, you expect others to feel the same way you do, to forget and go back to how things were like before.
it just doesnt work that way.

the feelings are coming back, stronger than before.
i wish i could rant it out here, but no, i cant.

Dearest delta...

Thank you for always being there, twenty shoulders always there for me to lean on...

I'm sorry should I have made you felt unimportant at anytime, but do know that you all really mean a lot to me...

I've never wanted to not talk to you all about what exactly is happening, just that I was hopping someone else would be there instead...

I know it's very selfish of me to think this way, but I didn't mean for it to seem this way...

You all are a bunch of genuine friends that I'm really really very appreciative of, people whom I know would always be there...

Sorry for being so selfish, I love you delta...

Things were somehow better today...

Probably cause my mind was kept busy the entire day in school.

I'm thankful for the people I have around me, who've been constantly leaving messages on my phone, expressing their concerns through blogs, giving me calls...

Really appreciate it a lot(:

I'll stay strong, whatever's gonna happen will happen, no matter how I try to run away from it.

Thank you for sticking through this shit with me, *hugs*

I'm sorry, I doubted you. I thought you broke your promise...

I don't wish for that day to come true; I'm really afraid of losing you...

Can't get to sleep:/

(I'm beginning to use this as a status update like facebook, but without letting the whole world know about it...)

I'm sorry:/

Just when I thought everything would be fine when I've gotten over the idea of a divorce, you threaten to sell off the house.

Just when I thought I can finally focus and study after moving out, you threaten to cut off the power supply at home.

You know that I'd move back for the sake of mum, dont you?

#%^*+=_\|<>€¥•.,?!'

i am moving out of this house.

What's there to talk about anymore?

I'm so irritated i want to cry.

somehow i've decided to start blogging again.
"blogging is a good way to distress", probably that's why.
too many things have been happening recently, and honestly, it's not an easy period.
with the fact that the one whom i've always been dependent on, is not around to shelter from all these issues. my brother.
i've tried handling all these with this in mind, "ignorance is bliss".
i stay out late so as to not hear the rantings.
i keep to my laptop and not talk to anyone at home (unless necessary).
i try to go to bed early.
but after a while, i realise that what i'm doing is just avoiding.
eventually, i'll still have to face up to all these issues that are going on in MY family.
i've tried taking things from a positive point of view.
i've tried learning from my classmates whom are worst of than me, to learn to be stronger.
but afterall, i've came to realise that i'm just trying to hide all these with a smile.
it's happened too many times and i'm really very sick of it.
i'm starting to not be myself.
i'm becoming really selfish and i just dont want to care about anything anymore.
not only towards family, but to others as well.
self is what i'm starting to care most about.
i just feel that i shouldnt be involve in all these.
but, i dont like who i'm becoming. not at all.
both claims that the other is trying to win me over by being nice.
but who exactly is telling the truth?
i've always been so easily influenced, that whatever people tell me, i tend to believe.
throughout this period, my mind is in a complete mess.
i dont know who is telling the truth, i dont know who is being true.
nobody's admitting that it's their fault.
all they're doing is to point fingers at each other.
i really dont wish to take sides.
they have no idea what they're putting me through.

i really wish that you're here for me, but you're not.